Something part 5

I really do not think that the coach meant anything bad by what he had done.

Some people are motivated by the negative. I am not. I have a hard time, when someone is critical. I would have a hard time, if a coach were to chew me out for something.

I grew up with a screamer. If DHR had been around during my childhood, they would have probably taken me out of my home at times.

Hey, sometimes, I wanted to take myself out of the house.

After the PE event, I went home and told my mom and dad about it. I did not want to at first, but I finally told them what had happened. They did not want to make a scene. They did not want to cause trouble, so they wanted me to talk to the counselor about switching from PE to something else.

I switched from PE to library assistant. It got me out of the gym and into something that was easier for me to do, physically.

Since I liked books, this was perfect for me. I got along very well with the librarian.

I wanted to play football so badly. I mean, honest, I wanted to play on the football team. I could not. If I had turned my ankle, it would have torn everything loose that was in my foot. It would have destroyed it all. So, I was not allowed to play.

One of the coaches knew how much I wanted to play, and he asked if I wanted to be the manager and help them at practice and go to the games. I was so excited. I went home and told my mom about it. She said, "NO!" My heart sunk. I was so upset. I wanted to do it. I wanted to be a part fo the team. This was a way that I could do it, but my mom said, "NO!"

She was the boss in the family. Dad did everything to please her. He gave her everything she wanted. She was the first child of ten and dad spoiled her. Being spoiled is not always a bad thing. It depends on how you let it affect you.

As to having friends, I had one guy that I was really close to as a friend in high school. His name was Eugene, but his friends called him "Bo." He was a great guy. I have no idea what happened to him. I have not seen him since graduation.

My mom would not let me go to anyone's house. I was not allowed to have friends over. I had no friends. I did not hang out with friends. I did not go swimming with friends. I did not go to the movies with friends. I had no friends outside of school.

During my senior year, I started working a job at the public library. I was a "Page." That meant that I shelved books and straightened shelves. I did work the circulation desk some and check in and out books. I worked for $1.00 an hour. How crazy is that. I worked 100 hours a month and got paid once a month.

I worked at the library for ten years. I stayed on after graduation and became a department head eventually. Some days, I think about it and I wish I were still there. I loved being around the books. I did have a lot of fun working at the library. Maybe one day I will tell you about all the crazy stuff that we did there.

I am sure that I am not the only one, nor will I be the last, but some bad things happened to me around age 10 and 11. It was not my fault. Hopefully, I am a better person for having some difficult times and surviving.

I made some bad choices. I chose some stupid things to do. I also did not do some things that I could have done. So goes a person's life. We all do things and we have our reasons. We all have outcomes.

My leg and foot are still the same. I do not feel it. I can not feel my foot. My leg gets as cold as ice in the winter. You would not believe how cold it gets. it is what I deal with.

Sometimes, I hurt, but I never say anything about it. I never wanted to be a complainer. I wanted to be strong. I do think about the years ahead and wonder if I will always be able to walk, like I do now? Will I need a cane? Will I have a problem walking up and down stairs. I get tired. If I go to an amusement park and walk all day, it hurts me the next day. So is my life. This is what I have and I make it.

You, the reader, have your own thing in your life. It might not be the saem as mine, but it gets you down sometimes. You have to learn to deal with something that I do not have to deal with. I want to encourage you to make something special of your life.

Do the impossible. Shoot for the stars.

Remember: If you miss, at least you will land among the stars.

I walk with a limp because of polio. I have a reason to limp and I live with it every day of my life. I have to deal with it. I still want to be normal. I want to walk barefoot. I want to run barefoot on the sand. I do believe in God. I believe that he cares about us.

I trust Him to work in me.

One day, in heaven, they say we will have a new body. I can not imagine what it would be like to look down and see a normal developed leg and foot. I think that I would yell and run and jump and play.

I do hope that I get to run barefoot on the sand. I pray that God has a strip of water bordered by sand. I want to run and leave my footprints in the sand.

I want to finally be able to run barefoot from the sand into the water and feel it splash all up my body and know that I will not trip and fall. That would be nice.